Hey there Everyone, Welcome to Wal-Mart, get your shit and get out

askaspookyskeleton:

askaspookyskeleton:

askaspookyskeleton:

this guy was watching spooky scary skeletons with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that

he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of the skeleton war and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting skeletons fight their meatbag fuckboi enemies without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a skeleton warrior” it’s precious

Update: I boned him

askaspookyskeleton:

askaspookyskeleton:

askaspookyskeleton:

this guy was watching spooky scary skeletons with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that

he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of the skeleton war and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting skeletons fight their meatbag fuckboi enemies without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a skeleton warrior” it’s precious

Update: I boned him

lesbianlegbreaker:

superfuzzz:

even dead i’m better than u

Really? Because i busted out and you’re still stuck there. Enjoy your very tiny accommodations.

lesbianlegbreaker:

superfuzzz:

even dead i’m better than u

Really? Because i busted out and you’re still stuck there. Enjoy your very tiny accommodations.

esudese:

who cares about mega evolutions when you have

image

dopeybeauty:

blurrypicturesofmikewazowski:

holy fuck 

a kingdom of eye-solation

coreydrake:

championcoolbreeze:

obfuscatingdeity:

the thing to realize here is that conservatives find the idea of paying workers a livable wage so absurd that they make hyperbolic comparisons like this

because fifteen dollars an hour and a hundred thousand dollars an hour both mean the same thing to them; more than you deserve

^That commentary is very important.

Minimum wage is basically your boss saying “if I could pay you less, I would”

(Source: -teesa-)

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

muslimmafia:

my grandfather always had candy in his pockets, and one time when I got really sick and I was hospitalized my dad told him not to give me any candy. He pulled out his pockets to show he hadn’t even brought any and I got really sad but as soon as my dad walked out of the room he then proceeded to take off his hat and had 2 chewy chocolate candy toffees and 2 orange fanta toffees, and I’ll never forget the happiness and surprise I felt in that one moment in my entire life.

varysbueller:

tinyredbird:

reallyreallife:

EVEN IF IT IS ONLY 65p YOU’D AT LEAST EXPECT THEM TO USE THE WORD “PUPPY”.

Dog baby


OMG I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO USE IT BUT I DID IT I DID THE THING

varysbueller:

tinyredbird:

reallyreallife:

EVEN IF IT IS ONLY 65p YOU’D AT LEAST EXPECT THEM TO USE THE WORD “PUPPY”.

Dog baby

Eric forgot what puppies are...

OMG I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO USE IT BUT I DID IT I DID THE THING

lincolnsensei:

gookgod:

stop sexualizing hentai

image

gallowshumorrandom:

akatonbo:

baital:

transsamwinchester:

transsamwinchester:

please watch this cat talking to her babies

if any of my posts deserved to get a lot of notes its this one

This was all I needed today. Thank you, Tumblr.

O M G

l3reezer:

FUCK, I’M IN LOVE WITH HANCOCK’S CHARACTER NOW

hipsterlibertarian:

This is the second half of a two-part series. Read the first half here if you missed it last week.

American trust in government is at an all-time low. Last week, I pointed out six big lies the government told us.

Here’s six more.

1. We’re here to protect your rights

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As many Americans have learned recently, there’s an epidemic of police brutality in America. With the help of the federal government, America police departments have been militarized, and too often they treat citizens like an enemy to defeat instead of a population to protect.

As Senator Rand Paul wrote:

When you couple this militarization of law enforcement with an erosion of civil liberties and due process that allows the police to become judge and jury—national security letters, no-knock searches, broad general warrants, pre-conviction forfeiture—we begin to have a very serious problem on our hands.

Police brutality is a systemic problem84 percent of cops say they’ve seen it happen—and it unfairly targets minorities. Protecting our rights, this is not.

2. Your stuff is yours to keep

AP A NY USA INTERNET GAMBLING ARRESTS

Did you know the Supreme Court has ruled it’s legal for the government to take your house and give it to a business so they can use the land instead?

Well, it did.

While most people will thankfully never be subjected to this gross abuse of private property rights, the government could still legally take your stuff through civil asset forfeiture.

Never heard of it? Most haven’t.

As I noted a few weeks ago, civil asset forfeiture is basically a law that allows a police officer who finds you “suspicious” to just take your stuff. Once your property has been confiscated, the burden of proof is on you, not the police, to show that you didn’t get it from any criminal activity. You have no right to a lawyer and won’t get a day in court.

Civil asset forfeiture happens a lot, because police conveniently consider large amounts of cash very suspicious indeed—but not too suspicious to dump it right into their own department coffers.

3. You can trust us with your future

SocialSecurityCheck_slideshow

More than half of Millennials believe we’ll never get any of the money we’re forced to pay into Social Security—and we’re right:

The management of entitlement programs, already weighted heavily in favor of the older population, has a very specific terminal point that coincides neatly with the Boomers’ deaths. The 2011 report by the Social Security trustees estimates that, under its current administration, the fund will run out in 2036, so there’s just enough to get the oldest Boomers to age ninety.

For Millennials, there’s nothing secure about Social Security. So when do we get to opt out and be responsible for our own futures?

Read the whole thing here.

ben-c:

this is the most fucking embarrassing post on this entire fucking site please burn it immediately

ben-c:

this is the most fucking embarrassing post on this entire fucking site please burn it immediately